We all have difficulties in life

We all have difficulties in life. They are opportunities to enrich, enhance, and to strengthen us, not moments to defeat us. See consequences of our choices can bring about great deeds which transcends time, space, and linger to touch soul in future generations. Because despite our environment, it is our choice to see the pass the finality disposition, outlook to understand ‘this too shall pass’, or to get in stuck in the disposition of doom and gloom that defeat us. It does not mean you deny the reality of the situation, or the environment you are in, but you choose to see beyond to the bigger and the better in the not too distant shores. For the greatest tragedy of life is not that we do not accomplish, but that we almost. We come to the door of a breakthrough, and yet we do not go through but turn around, failing to see the dream, vision realized in our life. So, the sooner we understand life is a journey with many small events that teach, keep, and bestow wisdom on the diligent soul who seeks the interwoven truth found from man’s experience but beyond man understanding, and only found in God’s truth, the sooner we shall see and have peace. However, this is not an easy task to accomplish. One must be willing to see beyond your own experience, look outside one’s frame of reference, and understand refusing to compromise is become the branch that cannot bend, is broken and burned. For life is not lived in the moments of I am great, I am better, I am the smarter but in the moments of humility and grace because it takes more strength to be humble and give grace, than it does to do the others. On any given day you can be best, but no one can take away your gift of grace, your presentation of humility, or your willing to see beyond self. Yet, it takes one who does let the difficulties of life dictate one growth, but use them as stepping stones to improvement.

I started this journey myself, and it started with weight but it beginning to be so much more. As my body is finding areas of inflexibility, I finding this too exist in me. But like the body, I yield and seek how to make it flexible, and more I work on me, it irritate the H@#%! out of me when others fail to do the same because of the inability to see their inflexibility. I am learning too quickly, slow, easy, determine, grace, faith, and a transformative mindset rewards us will peace...So, I remember this verse below as I continue my weight lost journey, and I hope you too see where you are inflexible, and begin to change; I have...
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”- Eph. 3:20-21 (NIV)

The opportunity and the power of our choice..

We choose everyday, for everything, and too many times we act if what we are doing was forced upon us. When actuality, we choose, whether the choice came from a place of fear, insecurity or confidence, we chose. Therefore, we are responsible and accountable. See we choose to live miserably, or not, we choose to be forgiven or not, we choose to live authentically or not, and we choose to keep the faith or not. So, it now time to own this true, we choose, and choose from and with our hearts...see the song below it provides a powerful affirmation of just how powerful our choice is!

I Choose by India Arie~ lyrics below
Because you never know where life is gonna take you
and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.

Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.(Yeah)
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose. (Yeah)

I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man. (NO!)
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown,
"from this day forward, every decision I make will be my own." And hey!

(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be courageous in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

We all have struggles, the question is – how are you handling them….

We all have struggles; no matter the strong discipline, successful, and spiritual person outwardly shown, and it matters who is in your inner circle….The difference in most is not that they do not have struggles, but how they manage them. For me, my struggle is about the call upon my life. It also frightens me knowing,, and not knowing whether or not I will stay sane and get caught up in depression, or get the big head and forget my focus, purpose . I cannot speak for anyone else, but the call, gift upon my life is ever-present, pressing upon my soul, resting upon my heart, plaguing my mind, and even when I tried to hide it, it rears its head unabashed and strong – saying I am here. Admitting to myself, it was not anything new, and it has always been with me, shook me at my very core and tears flow like a babbling brook without an off switch. Yet, I realized God favored me, even when I did not owned it, it owned me and HE kept me. So, I decided to fall into my destiny, embrace it, and let it live as is. I have learned what life could not teach, and what parents was afraid to tell, time will, if you are truly seeking… I do not have to tell anyone what it is, or answer questions about it, it arrives and people accept it because it is genuine; no fabrication or façade. Then, I found people select themselves in or out of my life as a result of it. I cannot say this is always easy because it reaches all aspects of my life (family, friends, loved one, mentors, co-workers, no one is exempt) who leave or disconnect themselves from me. I have cried a many tears wondering if I did something that was an affront and disrespectful to them; then I realize there is no compromise when to come to being in your truth but you must do so with humility, grace, unmerit favor, and forgiveness. However, I have found more peace once I refuse to hide what is within me. The truth of my destiny own, and it seemed my whole life exhale; and it was good. Living my truth grants me less struggle, and authentic peace. I am now able to love more openly, earnestly, and bend but not break. Those who love me, love me as me. They see me, as me and know my disposition, personality are innate traits that are true to me, not one of the many sides of me. I am shown, I see, and I know what Solomon meant with this verse Ecc. 1:18 ~ For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increases knowledge increases sorrow. (AKJV)~ I just have to remember a balance is needed to keep me focus, and His grace is sufficient for me, when I am weak, He is strong.

But more importantly, I no longer struggle to be the person, the role model and/or the leader others are expecting me to be. I stop living in the shadows of my true self, and realize my deepest fear was, not any more, I am powerful beyond reasonable and logical measure. For I have seen what happens when I am shining, or drowning in my darkness, and it is a stark difference, I see the former when I live in my truth. And yes, Virginia, we are all meant to shine in some way, and no one should be counted out just because they are different. Like a team is made up of different positions, and they all must work their position for the team to achieve, thus we should not count anyone out. We all matter!

Me Being me

I have written below for all of us, who are and have been afraid to live their truth because results in discomfort for others, friends, family, and foe. So, I hope you all are encouraged by it...

Me being Me
Me being me is not an attempt to harm you, but to help me. It is me living my truth to find peace within for me. It is my attempt to reduce my stress, remove unnecessary anger bottled up inside and projected on others, so that I can stop my self-loathing. If living my truth offends you, or makes you feel insecure, it is not me that hurts you; it is you. See, me letting my light shine, my truth live out-loud should not create a disturbance for you; it should free you to be, you. If it does not, then it is your doing, not mind. See as we live our truth, I live my truth, you should see it is okay to live yours. All is needed from you, is for you to walk beyond your fears, release the chains of insecurities you have grown accustomed to, and begin loving person God made. Not trying to be what someone desires or think you should be, because you will never satisfy anyone trying to please them, and you will have a slow death of self-destruction. We cannot change to meet someone else’s expectation, if it means being less than authentic to who we really are. Being the quick change artist that accommodates all people for every circumstances or situations never finds peace, and cripples one’s self-worth.
The fact of the matter is, and at the end of the day, your living a lie imprisons not only you, but those who are connected to you, and look up to you. It puts others in a quandary when it comes to connecting with you, for they see the madness, the confusion in you, but your denial leaves them helpless and disconnected from you. Your refusal to live your truth also impedes others from their growth, because are a role model, desire to be or not, look up to whether you know it or not, and it creates a ripple effect in lives you were not aware. You must understand you affect others, unknowingly, by your presence, your words, and your actions. We all want to be affirmed for doing, but also for being who were are as a person, regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic status, physical appearance, relationships, etc. to be guided, nurtured, loved, guarded, and desired but none of this can happen, if you are living a lie because the lens you see life through is distorted by fear and insecurity. While living your truth frees you, and all that has been confined by your lies, hypocrisies, fears, insecurities, and yes, anger. It allows you to no longer be afraid to be honest about you, or how others see you; you are a beautiful person. You complete the complex, intricate rainbow God fashioned in this world with each unique personality created. He made you to be a part of, when He said, let you be, and out of his love, you were meant to always shines. Therefore, me being me should always help you, not hurt because it frees you with loving warmth not found in anywhere else….

Changing...

Changing. I have had one week of working out with the trainer, and I am extremely sore. I am trying to visualize my future self. I remember the changes I saw in the reality show cast members bodies. I realized it is about mind over matter because you want to stop but you have to convince yourself this is important. If you do not, it is so easy to find something else to do, then you begin think what got you here. For me, I have begun looking at things in an expansive thinking I have been challenge with as of late. Such as why I have struggled with what is before me, find the courage to trust the truth that nags my soul, and let go into God's capable hands and his words. For you see, I do not question the trainer as he has me doing things I am uncomfortable with, and feeling extremely awkward but I do it all.... I trust and obey him, then I begin to wonder why is this so hard in life with family, friend, in the work environment, God and then it dawns on me he desires my best. I am encouraged to do, and believed inspite of mistakes, failures, and questions. This all makes a difference in the final analysis for me. See losing weight is not, and has never been just about getting smaller but also seeing the bigger picture, developing new lens to see life through,and working toward one's true potential. Where you learn to move beyond fears, and keep walking inspite of insecurities.... Psalm62:8 ~ O my people, trust him all the time. Pour out your longings before him, for he can help... I am learning to make every teachable moment count because you get out of life what you expect, and what you believe it is possible for you to do...

I am still on the journey...

In the book ‘Oh, The places you'll go! by Dr.Seuss’- it states the following ~ You have brains in your head; you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you will be the guy who'll decide where you'll go ~ See, you choose what you desire to do in this life; via action or inaction. Your choices pretty much shape whatever happens to you, it is not random, happenstance, or out of the blue thing. Each of us choose, and we have the right to do the following, and will choose one of the following based on circumstance, environment, or situation – be silent, walk away, or speak up; you choose. And although, talent and intelligence are part of the puzzle, but it does not complete the picture for you, or guarantee success. Talent and intelligence, not just book smarts, plus right choices and right people allows you to live your life to the fullest potential but you cannot walk or choose in fear. You have to believe in self, even when no one else does or will. Life is cornucopia of affairs, themes, issues, or subject matter to address on any given day. Having good people around you make choosing, decision making so much easier, and it reduces the craziness you incur in this life. But you have to move….

God will take you out of your comfort zone to challenge you, to trust and believe in Him. He wants you to walk into your destiny. He also lets you know it does not lie in the known, what you have done before, or where you have gone before; he shows us a new thing. The familiar does not hold your full potential, and right now is not where you belong forever. Each day is about growth, change, moving forward and seeking a better way. Every struggle is a teachable moment, a lesson to learn from, and a fear to walk beyond on faith. We have to trust the father, believe in his promises, and take his word as the guarantees that they are; so that our answer can be yes…Winston Churchill puts it this way – Difficulties masters are opportunities won, and if you going through hell, keep walking- . Too many times we run away, stop afraid to address the issue, the difficulty, the struggle not understanding the gravity of feigned peace based on fear paralyzes, blinds, cripples, and destroys all that in its wake or connected to it…See we live by example, and we are all role models, whether we want to be or not, to someone, somewhere. So, when we screw-up, fail, or lose perspective on truth, then we should know the impact is not just us or what we see…Isaiah 43:19 ‘See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.’ NIV…So, I will end as I started with a quote from Dr. Seuss book ~ Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.~ As many things are…..wink

It ain't easy losing weight but gives us alot of life lessons....

There is no growth without change; there is no change without fear or loss; and there is no loss without pain; every and all change requires and involves a loss of some kind.

This week I embark on this journey of weight loss. I have gotten me a personal trainer for six-weeks, and I am realizing something in a profound way; change. Yes, change, growth this thing is hard, difficult, challenging, uncomfortable, and makes you look at things differently. I am sore in places I had not thought of using, or even known was an issue for me. Then I realize, although I knew theoretically, that change is not easy and achieving the thing we say, we desire is quite arduous, pushing your buttons, and time-consuming task; I never really look at it from others perspectives who have lived the same way, never had their views challenged, or had to diverse their way of doing things to encompass others. I get it but I see so many people fight and struggle with holding on for dear life to their way of doing things, at all cost. Never stopping to see that just maybe, I am the one not bending. I read this somewhere, and believe it wholeheartedly – what we cannot grasp, we usually scorn and fight against because it does not fit our way of appropriate, ethical, professional, right, true, and genuine. So, I began to think about life and all the lofty and not so lofty goals we set for ourselves and expectations to meet, the things we declare, dream about, desire, say we want, and plan for, and how we never seem to get there or are frustrate, angry about during the course of achieving. It dawn on it me, it takes you out of your comfort-zone of what you know, and are familiar with doing and challenges your perspective. You have to re-examine how you see life, and the lens you have seen life through after 20, 30, 40 50, 60, etc years, and it is none too pleasant. And like those muscles I have never worked out before, it hurts, it makes moving difficult, and when I find a good position where nothing hurts, I do not want to move. See, I have worked out and have had pretty good results but have had some struggles recently as I have aged and stresses are mounting around, I realized I needed to change things up a bit. So, I did not fancy myself a novice but a knowledgeable person when it came to weights and working out. I am finding out, not so much. I am doing things that are out of my league, way out of my comfort zone, making me look silly, and moving in awkward ways, and at times, I think, I look down-right stupid because everyone is looking at what I am doing. I just want to throw in the towel. But I am not going to lie, I did not want to do it but yet, I am here to learn; I just grin and bear it. I remember what I said I wanted, and believed this is going to get me there. I know that resisting and being angry will only make it more difficult, so I release and settle into the place of unknown. This is where, I began to wondering about change in life, and how the muscles in my body paralleled the resistance and struggle we, mankind, has with the change and growth. We all want to be right, the best, the smartest, the sharpest, the richest, etc, but no one really think of the fact one of the ways to get there is release what we have – if you want to have what you never have, you have to do what you have never done – and it goes for everything in life. Dropping our walls of resistance to difference coming our way, or releasing the fear of what it make me look like, and just seeking, absorbing from all to become the thing we seek.

See we all want to believe we are pretty comfortable with self, or would like to believe we have an expansive perspective and we able to be disagree without being disagreeable. The problem is we are not. I can tell you, not seeing the trainer today for me would be great but then I would not achieve the goal I declared and I would miss out on learning to better myself. So, I challenge everyone to stop and think of what is troubling you, and check to see if you are standing in your own way because of your insecurities and fears. Enlighten and help come in the unexpected packages, if we are willing to let go of the defense, fences, walls, and fears…”Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5) – this requires faith…Heb. 11:1 - Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.