Grief is part of the process

Grief is part of the process. We cannot ignore, and just get over it or just move on without dealing with it. Although, grief is temporary, it becomes a permanent part of us when we do not go through it. When we do not let out the emotions, let out the feelings, express ourselves, and then it becomes a negative force in our life. We ask God, where are you? He asked us, where are you? He is seeking not where we are physically, but mentally, emotionally, psychologically. See any time we lose something, we held dear, even if it is breaking loose of a negative thing; we grieve. Grief comes about when we lose something, what was familiar, comfort to us, or kept us balanced, even if it is imbalance. Because worn long enough the imbalances, negativity, and/or living in the shadows become the security blanket, we wear, and our norm. This is the reason it is important for each of us to have a good group that keeps it real like Dr. Phil. We can be honest, open, cry, yell, or whatever without being judged. Therefore, our inner circle is not necessarily the ones we talk to, it is someone else who is a friend, and they are just become the go to person for this moment, season, and not to be carried, or drawn into the closer knit of friendship. They are there to help you grieve, and help you to get a handle on the madness that has beset you. Each person in our lives plays a different role in our life, we should never have individual we consider ‘friends’ we do not trust, and can’t be real with, for this reason. This is destructive to us because when we are in need, we compound the problem for our self. We need to be able to let the tears flow, the words explode, and the confusion be expressed, so you can be release, relax, and renew. No, one can give you permission to do this except you, and you are unable to give yourself that permission, until you are able to feel ‘safe’. We need to understand, this does not mean we do not trust God, or have faith, it is just where we are. Christ showed us this on two separate and critical occasions - if this cup, in the Garden, and why have thy forsaken me, on the Cross. Did he forget, no he was hurt, he felt pain, not only physically, emotional, but also spiritual, because he was man, and God at the same time. I am not diminishing, or trying to put Christ in this box, only reminding each of us, he has lived what we experience, and can identify with our struggle. We just have to know, we must go through the process as He did. Just always know grief is a process, not a permanent station in life, we are to go through it, not remain there. How long is it, it varies from person to person, but know progression is forward movement, not stagnation or standing still wallowing in it. So, let the tears flow, the inarticulate words flow, and if the person does not respond that encourages you to open up further in a genuine open heart to help, then know he or she does not want to know, or is not the one to help you. Do not hold a grudge or be defensive toward them, just know he/she is not the person for you…
We choose, we decide, whether faith shall abide or not, and the process of grief I accept as part of the process of growth. For the super highs are only matched with equal or greater lows in life, and one speaks into the other, it is all part of a process, order that is God’s way, not man’s…

Hypocrisy: Getting rid of the Mask

Hypocrisy is not being honest, and others words that are sometimes used to replace it is pretense, insincerity, duplicity, to name a few. Whatever we name it, it all boils down to not true, wearing the mask. Wearing a mask, rather living in untruth, is an insult to our Maker. We were fashioned in love, smoothed out with redemption, and freed through grace. WE were fearfully and wonderfully made, by our Maker. When we wear a mask, we are saying God will fail us, however, even when it looks likes defeat, He wins; his time, his order, his way. Yet, we wonder why things do not change. Well God cannot heal what we will not reveal and trust him with because we have to be active participants and engage in our own transformation. We forget what is stated in 2 Tim 3:13 – ‘But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived (ASB)’, and earlier it states this in verse 5, - ‘holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.’ Because God sees the best in us, when others see the worst in us, and write us off. These people are not just none Christian, or bad people, they are the faithful religious folk, we measure our religiosity and spiritually by. They determine for us the right and righteous, when it was never supposed to be this way. See they are wearing the mask, and hurt people, hurt other people, and the cycle of destruction begins. Then, we all begin to wear the mask that destroys, and although we may only do a little things; remember a little of something dangerous can destroy a whole lot. The seed we plant today of wrong, finds root and take hold beyond this moment. This sends another on to believe no one can love me in my truth, my authenticity, my imperfection; my flawed past and present, thus my future must be worthless, etc.
Yet, we repeat as a mantra, many time, these things – while I was yet a sinner God love me, God loves me unconditionally, or God loves the sinner but hates the sin, or something like that. Well, if God loves you, then why not believe God, and take off of the mask? The reason is simple, once the uncomfortable is worn long enough, it becomes familiar to us, and we become comfortable with it. Thus, the uncomfortable feeling is our norm, when it never should have been. We are caught up in confusion, something God is not the author of, but Satan is. Wow! Now that makes sense, we have let our fears, insincerities and past hurts, be our inner truth mantra and they holds us back.
The question is, when will we commit, submit, and become convince of what we say, we believe. See, we like to say, when you know better, you do better, but I say that is a lie. Why? Because there is a lot of things we know better – lying, cheating, affairs, stealing, speeding, unforgiveness, etc, but we still do, and don’t allow God to work his perfect work. This is not an assault on your character, just an illustration of me making a point. We have taken a relative statement, something that is not always true, and made it into an absolute truth, that never changes regards of race, gender, or age. Therefore, we are confused and result in us wearing a mask because we do not get it.
Hypocrisy, wearing the mask is not something to embrace but to avoid. Because Marian Williams had it right, when she wrote – …And when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. In other words, when live our truth, then we are able to live our truth because we are all flawed, imperfect being, seeking after a perfect found in God’s will for our promised destiny…We choose…how are you choosing, I have chosen to live me, broken, flaw, imperfect, many other things I am not proud of in my past, as well as releasing hurt. I will not deny them because then I hide, and begin to live in the shadow of my truth, and I refuse to wear the mask anymore. I desire to be free, in abundance, and know this – Isaiah 61:3 – 7 ‘To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified. Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, they will rise up the former devastations; and they will repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. Strangers will stand and pasture your flocks. And foreigners will be your farmers and your vinedressers. But you will be called the priests of the LORD; you will be spoken of as ministers of our God You will eat the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. Instead of your shame you will have a double portion, and instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land, Everlasting joy will be theirs (ASB).’...We choose.

When we learn....

As I began to mull over the issue of bullying and suicide, I was struck by the fact many times the person feels helpless. There is no one to talk to, or will listen to you because after awhile it becomes a broken record to the person(s) listening, but it is the exercising of the demons for the person talking. We as people forget what it is like to ever feel like that, where you are talking but no one is listening because you cannot quite put everything in words. You feel alone, at least I did when it happened to me (Some say, I have great faith and confidence, but I say, I know that God is gonna do what he said, period; but it ain't easy). I was not suicidal but I was not in a good place either. The issue seems inane, small, or insignificant, but it is real and an overwhelming weight to carry. People avoid you, try to get you to be quiet about it, and you feel depress, lost, alone, confuse, and mentally spent. The pastor of the church I attend decide to preach over it because of the significance. However, it is going to take every one to get on board, and do more than the rhetorical statements – if you need me call, or if I can ever do anything, I am here. Yet, when you are needed the most, all is heard are excuses because you just don’t want to know. We all need to provide a compassionate ear, an open heart, and willing spirit to assist…

I cannot help but to think if we were more authentic with ourselves, and remove the mask 50% of this would disappear. While the rest would be manageable, I am not saying all bullying and suicide would diminish, but I am saying life would change. Too many of our young are taking their own lives because of bullying, and the inability to live their truth.

I just asked everyone to think over these questions, start to be the change, YOU desire to see…
1. When will we learn, acting from the position of impressing, rather than influence, if we desire to connect with others result in a disconnect for us?
2. When will we learn, if we desire others to be authentic with us, why don’t we become authentic with them?
3. When will we learn, to not shy away or push others away, when they see through your façade reach out to us you with love?
4. When will we learn, getting upset with others who come to the table with a hidden agenda, when we do the same thing serves no purpose, and is a distraction to progress?
5. When will we learn, tangible blessings are only the manifestations of spiritual obedience and immutable trust in an unfailing Father?
6. When will we learn, just like you can see when another is being less than authentic with you, others see that in us too and question it?
7. When will we learned, operating from the position of insecurity, fears, or selfishness, never allow us to reap the benefits or outcomes; we say, we seek?
8. When will we learn, when our behavior changes toward a person, the person changes toward us?
9. When will we learn, power and control does not have to be proven, it just is; remember Christ’s example?
10. When will we learn, Godly growth comes from a godly connection, in a godly order, and it is for our good, and fear is an awareness we are going into the unknown, not that you have to stop?

I am learning it, how about you.We choose…I do not know about you but living my truth allows me to be free. No self-imposed prison, no mental constructs binding me into insanity, or a nemesis seeking to destroy me can stop me.

We have the consent of the King to live our truth…John 8:32;36 - …and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free… "So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed …ASB

The crucifixion

The next time you begin to think your name is synonymous with unscrupulousness, your life is being slandered, or your reputation is being trampled in the mud, remember the crucifixion. Or maybe for you it is the being spent beyond measure, you are down for the count, or you have nothing else to give. I asked you to stop to think of Christ as he stayed on the cross, stretched out wide, nails in wrist and ankles to keep him in place, and a spear stuck in his side to add insult to injury. He locked his head in his shoulder symbolism, I am here for the long haul - here I am. He did it all for us, so we would, could have the right to choose to stand through every trial, test, struggle, or adverse situation. To give us the ability to say I am alive with the ability to live, love, and believe. Not ever letting the pain, the hurt, the agony, and the disapproval of man to pull him down. He saw the best in you, me, us, and took the worst for you, me, us. He would not come down. For three days he hung there, as some assumed triumphant, and he has been destroyed and what he stood for was gone. Yet, he stayed for you, me, us opening the threshold to our promised destiny.

Oh yeah, he was drag from court to court, beat down, without giving over to a mumbling word. And though, he could have come down, he could have stopped them in their millisecond breath, he stayed. Not because he could not, but he would not, and it did not take away from his power or strength. But for some reason we get all twisted or bunched up in this life when someone takes our name in vain, or attached it to drama; grant our name has meaning but we cannot control what others will think of us...We forget, how many times we have actually done the same thing to someone else, more than likely, for some inane reason….See it did not matter what he felt, or what he was feeling. The only thing important was the unconditional love and freedom, he granted to us through his submission on the cross. He was willing to be broken, so we could be blessed beyond measure, and have access to the better life, if we choose. Crucifixion gave a choice in a way, we never had before. All because he did not mumble, complain, or give in to the struggle and give up on the cause – you and me, us…So, the next time you think you cannot do it, or unable to make it any further…it is always choice, and battle today, plants the seed for a victorious future for more than just us…The crucifixion...

Planned Neglect

1Corinthians 2:9 –However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"— but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. (NIV)

Life comes at you fast and in a hurry it seems. As a result, being able to put the main things first, and not sweat the small stuff is challenging at best. It requires us to become more of an aggressive listener, where the focus is on the other person and what is being said so we can respond to the speaker. It is not on what I am about to say, or the point I am about to make. It is taking the risk of faith to obtain the promises of God but without the burden of the worries of man to have what God ordained. Planned Neglect is letting go of what has no relevance to the goal, to our promised destiny, or call upon our life. It is an indispensable task learned and a key element of organization implemented when you are following God’s way in this life. Far too many times as people we get caught up in matters of no significance to what we are doing. We fail to grasp or forgo the law of significance, to buy into the outward trappings that distract. See, we let the he say/she say, the success of another, the look and dress of our counterparts, social economic status and background, what everyone else is doing or getting, etc get our attention, and impede our progress. We fail to remember, what the verse we quote in our happiness delusion really mean – eyes have not see, hears have not heard, no mind has conceived it, and spirit search all and the deep things. Thus, those aforementioned things above will not help us to live our best, or authentically, for what we are seeking is not found in them. Planned neglect is an essential key in our journey as we walk with the Lord.
Planned neglect is seeing the chaos theory, as a theory and the order ordained by God. The flashes of brilliance, light, connection of today, will impact our tomorrow whether we intentionally mean it to do so or not; it just will…why not decide to live by choice, not default… See until we get this, we will always live in the constant stream of frustration, confusion, insecurity, and fear, not just for us, but all connected to us by bond and/or blood. Because we are unwilling to claim, own, and apply what the bible verses above state to our lives. The irony of it all, we have planned neglect in our life, it is just misapplied like so many other things in our life. And like everything else we read, shout, teach, preach, when we do apply it properly, correctly, then we really will understand unequivocally what it means to behold the lamb of God! Because following the planned neglect puts all in order of critical importance to the negotiable in this life ..We choose!

Vulnerability, weakness = God’s power

Vulnerability, weakness allows God’s power to be shown. We read of Paul speaking about his weakness, and he calls it a thorn in his flesh. He seeks out God to remove it, so he could be more effective, he thought. But what God told him is in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." and then Paul concluded this - Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.(NIV)’ Now what that tells me, is our weaknesses are the direct pipline we need to seek God out. It stops us, if we do not let pride grip us, from getting too caught up in our self-sufficiency. We are vulnerable, when it comes to our weaknesses, and feel naked. What really happens is our true authentic self is shown. Not our over pressed correct image we put out, rather the truth of us is seen. Wow! What a gift, we have to offer if we just stop to offer our truth, and not our lie to people. We will feel no need to hide, lie, run, or work to impress anyone, any more, and get one thing we all crave – influence. Then we would see, the sure way of connecting to another, influence anyone is by being vulnerable. Everyone who is a guru and uses their words, use their vulnerability, weakness to reach, connect to millions. The number one person who realized this, whether my default or by design, is Oprah Winfrey. She made herself vulnerable, she told her story, and as the layers of the onion skin were peel back a large portion of this country has followed her, and fallen in love with her. She has made billions, not her intent, her intent was to connect through her experiences of struggle we all share. You may say, she still have more secrets, and as true as that it is. She understood in the basic terms, the direct link to people is not there stomach, but through shared struggles. This is where the heavy lifting begins, and we all will share, if you share.
It allows an intimacy between people that makes one raw, and sensitive to the touch; when we are all like that we are more at ease with the nakedness. Now, we do not do it because we are too busy trying to compare our life to another, whether it is the negative experiences, or the fabulous experiences. We have yet to realize it incites hate, those people become our haters, and ultimately result in us wearing mask because I cannot be seen as weak. Yet, this whole cornucopia of madness is man-made, and man-perpetuated; thus we can stop it…wow thats a thought! I have discovered, the solution to all problems lies in the problems.... Because we are told clearly in the bible how we should speak of others, Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.(NIV)”- See, if we did this, and remember this is the real reason Christ came John 3:17 - For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. (NIV). Being real with self and others, would not be such an ordeal, or a dilemma. The true is we see others through the perspective of how we treat others in this life; thus, another news flash ‘be change, you wish to see’…Vulnerability, weakness does equal God’s power. It is repeatedly shown over, and over in the bible and in life, most, no I will say, all of the great individuals of our past and present of unmatched influence that galvanize in a way that had never been done, and we draw encourage from, have allow their weakness, vulnerability to propel them into a place of prominent influence…it is not an accident, it is an outcome of intentional determination…The choice is personal.

Seed and Harvest: Leadership

2 Corinthians 9:6-7 - Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver (NIV)

Truly great leaders have learn through their journey only in giving, selflessness, not expecting anything in return but for the betterment of the team, the group, the organization, the people, future growth, shall result in an abundance return that enriches all beyond right now. Thus, what is given is not about giving what I can spare, or what will benefit me or what I am made to give. This might have worked as children, but as adults we should have put away childish things; ironically we have not and wonder why life does not see my growth because our growth is not shown. See the seed sown in this life is the harvest received. So, if we are giving only what brings gains for me, my, then we have fail miserably because the followers will do what the leader models, not what the leadership says.
We must understand this is not just a busy leader, but an effective leader. The leader focusing on being, doing, all things as you can, does not make an effective leader. What you have is a leader that is seen, known, but when the layers are pull back nothing is really done, and the emptiness or the self-servitude is seen. The parallel play principle is demonstrated; where nothing is done, it just looked like it is. How does it apply to seed and harvest? Well, we see people who give, and who get caught up in their gift bestowed. Yet, no one really wonders what the gift actually cost the receivers. True gifts are unconditional, no strings attached, not with the expectation of getting something for what is given. See everyone who gets this comprehends in the fundamental, elementary terms the importance of significance over security. We see throughout the bible everyone had to give up the security, for the significance (great leader, many followers, and greater security given up). However, this is never obtainable when your foundational choice is base in self motivation. Seed and Harvest, if all you are doing is about what you can get right now, then do not be upset if your harvest is meager, or only enough for right now. And if you are only giving because you are required to do so or pressure by others, then do not get upset if your harvest you get comes from work of difficulty. What you plant, your seed, your harvest will mirror it. Leadership is the same way, what you put out, plant, in others with your thoughts, your words, and your actions, your seed, the harvest will mirror it. Your harvest will always mirror your seed giving. Therefore, if the leadership role taken is a pretense to cover, then do not be surprise is that is what get in return from those who looking at you for direction, guidance, instruction…The model given to us on leadership by Christ is true!...we choose….