Getting School

Phil. 4:13 'I can do all things through God who strengthens me.'
I can do, you can do, we can do all things through God. Thus, we all must do and engage in the experience if progression and growth is the desire. How we respond to the experience determines whether we got the lesson. This is a long one because something wonderful happened to me…smiling…

I went back to school. I have embarked on the next level of my journey in my faithwalk. This part will forever change my life, how I live, my interaction with others, expand my mentality, etc. I will be more conscious of what I put in to practice, what I speak, not that I will be perfect because for those who know me, will find this journey one quite interesting and I am far from perfection inspite of ego.…lol…For great is God’s mercy toward me, inspite of me and because He loves me. I felt it, once the experience settle in me what really this was about…sigh…and all I can say is there is not words, you just had to be there to see it. The illumination rain down in tears, the clarification rang through in my smile, the weight and gravity felt in the outstretch arms and head thrown back, humility shouted in the bent knees, the eyes closed as the silence brought a voice of loving kindness upon me, and I knew my surrendering was necessary…

Now let me go back to me going back to school. Well in this part of my faith walk journey there is this transition period where I am being prepared for what I am call to do. I came with trepidation, uneasiness, and not really wanting to do this. Wondering if this was the right person, should I be working with him, and if he even had time, ready to take this task own. So, I came in fully prepared to leave with the understanding this person is not the one for this task. To thank him for sure, for the time and effort but this is over; begin seeking elsewhere. Yes, I am crazy like that… Yet, I knew it was necessary because it was about me being open, vulnerable, not something I do very well. I like most people who in the helping, advising, professional guidance giving, informally and formally, we do not do this well. I had to trust the God who sent me, he was the one.

Letting others see into the vulnerability in us, and giving control to another is a necessity to ‘get it.’ See, we only have two experience as humans, where we really allow ourselves to be vulnerable and release control, (I believe)where go with the flow to get the most out of it…One is where there is a true sense of lost or hurt, and the second is when we participate in making the beast with two backs (Shakespearian term) of a personal nature (I hope this does not offend anyone but think about, you will see if you let go of your cultural constraints of sensibility, and yes, I went there, tactfully but fully there). Now the African-Americans culture might argue with me on this point because of the demonstrative actions, verbal and non-verbal, seen during in a church service. I am not move because this can be spontaneous but it is also habitual, what was taught as to how to express one self in church, and we control it, because even though we feel it, we do not do, always let go. Thus, for an actions to show true vulnerability and openness, it is not controlled, it comes, it occurs.…things that make you go..hmmmm… I had to explain this, now let me continue. We never really contemplate it being important or necessary to move forward in a positive progressive nature as part of growth. Because prejudices and knownness are challenged and expanded for the individual seeking to increase their horizon; there is not any other way. So I got schooled, literally, and the metaphorically; and I know my teacher enjoyed it…lol…. Let me explain. It wasn't just what was taught to me beyond verbal exchange, or form and function but the experience itself, and I was there to embrace, grasp the totality of the experience. I could only do so when I became humble, vulnerable, open, empty of expectations, and let go and let God; imagine that. You know, become an empty pitcher before a full fountain; I was there for the full experience, to sap everything out of it... This is no illusion or ‘game’ being put out to you, it substantive and weighty. However, this could not have happened without having trust and faith in my God will complete the work started in me. That He endowed the person I am been sent to with the skills to reach me, teach me, assist me as well as listen to me that hits it's the heart of the matter every time. My teacher did not make it easy for me, I have homework that is going to take me a minute..lol… When the teacher makes it easy it does not leave a lasting mark that lives, nor does it have a life past right now. It is not without emotional upheaval because you are open, vulnerable. Thus, emotions will come to the surface because you are going to an unused or untapped, uncharted waters; an emotional eruption is sure to come…think about it a minute. It is interesting tranquil beauty to see someone walking in their gift. They make it effortless, it is an unconscious competence (new phrase learned) that is seamless, and authenticity is evident because you realize the teacher, like the student wonders if s/he went too far, gave too much, or am I clear. See when we walk in our truth, we will fully see, what we do for others, God shall make happen for you…and you receive better, than what you gave….because an apt Teacher, who has an apt students eventually sees roles changing, and teaching is being done by the student in the unconscious competence that is seamless….lol

Now, you might be wondering what did you learn about God’s word, and I will tell you that this process is a test for what I am to put into practice, what I have been taught. And also, I wanted to share what is necessary to obtain growth in God because whether we pay attention to it or not. It all matters because whether we intend to or not, we are impacted by others, and we impact others with our words, our thoughts, our actions. What do I mean? Ever wonder why you missed something, and others got it? Ask yourself, were you surrendered to the moment, fully present and committed to the moment, or just there? Some say, it not my time? Well, timing has to do where you are? Are you open to it, or not? Were you there when you were supposed to be there, or was this happenstance, random.....You choose…

Proverbs 16:1,3,9 ‘Mortals make elaborate plans, but GOD has the last word…Put GOD in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place…We plan the way we want to live, but only GOD makes us able to live it.’

I hope all who reads this finds this more than mere self-indulgence but enlightenment!