What ifs....

What I have found, and come to understand about life is this. We only control the following things in life - our words, our thoughts and our actions. We must learn having the right to do, does not always mean it is the right thing to do. We have to consider time, place, and manner…However, there are some what ifs we need to consider, and I am listing them below. Something to think about:
What if the only thing was needed from us is our humility, obedience, and trust to see life in a more positive perspective?
What if the one person we have ignored, or snubbed is the person, the catalyst to change our life for the better?
What if, the reason we have not, and are not living in abundance of grace, is because we are too busy doing self-promotion, and not God devotion?
What if the truth about us is not as bad as the fiction made up, and we only need to live the truth about us, and stop trying to make the lies true?
What if we only needed to slow down, bide our time, and not let being big become our focus for us to live out our destiny?
What if the connection that ties expectations and experience together is faith, we so often profess to have?
What if the only reason we have not succeeded in life, is the result of us not wanting to engage, become an active participant to enhance our own life?
What if the only reason we feel inadequate, is the result of us living from our fear and acting from our insecurities?
What if the selfish mindset that entangles us into self promotion, is the reason for most people not liking us, and not our giftedness?
What if the difficult person we work with, live with, married to is only there to remind us, we treat others the same way?
What if your present placement is not about you, and until you see it is not, you will not move because you cannot fulfill your purpose for being there?
What if our problems, current struggles in life are the result of our own doing, undoing, not the people we are accusing?
What if we cannot see the blessings before us, because we walk around with the ‘ghetto of the mind’ because we have physically move from the place, but mentally stay in the place?
What if the person(s) who is reaching toward us, and we are running from, is the one that unlocks the door to your brighter tomorrow?
What if you realize, running from a problem only makes it linger longer, and stopping to address reduces the stress you carry?
What if Jesus said, enough is enough, like we do with others that hurt us, and cut his lovingkindness toward?
What if the Father had told his son, they are not worth it, so don’t even try to show them a better because they are not willing to look?
What if the person you accused of not opening up to you, does not because you are not available to listen and share with them, and you have loose lips?
There are so many more what ifs, I have not addressed. The main point I wanted to convey is this, we all have needs, wants, and desires. We all have a history, a past messed-up past, fallen short, hurt many (some known, and some not), and sinned. This is the thing, it is not about us, just for us. WE are not here to defend the Word in society, just own our call and live it. WE are not here to get caught up in the drama playing out in cultural wars, and battlegrounds of right/wrong. We are to follow the voice of absolute truth, and not let the relative statements bogged us down because they look like absolute trues; if it is not true always, it is a relative statement, and seek the Master way!
“I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”- (NIV) Psalm 16:8

The letter

As I prepare to send a note out. I contemplate whether I should snail mail, or send via text or email. See, I love writing letters, or just writing period..lol. I enjoy knowing the love and joy put into this letter shall be enjoyed by the intended. Now, I am not saying this feeling cannot be felt via text message or email, but all I can say it makes a difference. I know it does, but I don't send letters to all people. Why, I enjoy writing so much? I know some people perfer electronics because it instant. While some people loves getting handwritten, old school, letters, and it is a gift, not about me...I write because it is the closeness one can get when face to face communique is not possible. No one wants to sit and talk, anymore, my favorite, because we are in the instant age. I am not bemoaning the benefits, I am just saying, everything has it place that is all. 
See, I am reminded of Jesus, he could have sent another, and not come down but he gave face to face; his time, his heart with his physical presence. So we would have the experience of the intimate and focus attention for all us, individually and collectively. Jesus left us great examples on how to address one another, when it matters and we desire to demonstrate love. He sent people to touch, reach, and show; when that was not enough, he provided us a pattern, model, an example that is just as valid today as it was in ancient times, in his person. It is something about reading the words,hearing the voice, and having that knowing feeling you have connected; sending that letter to be read and savor it is a gift. To know that time and heart was surrendered for me, and I was important enough for this to be written; actions speaks volume when coupled with words. Because connection is ultimately what we all crave. An instant message, email just does not translate the emotions, the love, the grace, and statement 'you matter to me' like a handwritten note or face to face exchange. Why?! Well, both require the willingness to put yourself out there for another or others to see you and see where you are; the you without the facade, only truth, and we draw, when we open to this beauty. It is time consuming, yes, but it is the gift God gave us all; know this. Every encounter Jesus had he gave a little of himself; his virtue was touched and release from him to each of us, and no matter the past madness we have participated in, we are loved by God who desires to save, not judge. And it prompts others to act beyond the common practices, and let the beckoning of beauty sacrifice rest on us. It let us share love and invite others to share. The letter is not just a letter but rather it is the hug you need, the smile you missed seeing, the joy you desire to hear, the conversation you crave, or realization I matter to someone. The letter is never just a letter because when we give from our authentic place, we give of ourselves. We model Jesus, and he is seen in us.. 
Matthew 5:16 - 'Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.'

Things I have learned as life goes on, and I continue my journey...

1. We controls our thoughts, our words, and our actions
2. We really do reap what we sow in this life
3. People who act within or from their fears and insecurities are dangerous people
4. Prioritization without passion is mix bag of outcome
5. We choose everyday what is important to us with our behavior
6. We draw what we are, and we repel what we are not
7. People will select in or out of your life base on your actions, not words
8. Everyone with you are not always there to support you, but the cause; when the cause is gone, so are they
9. There are always going to be those who speak ill about you, just do not feed the fire
10. Forgiveness give restoration; in other words it restore what is right and best, not what was....
“For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”- Ephesians 2:10 NIV

Dear Convince a note to myself;

I am not sure what to think right now. I made a choice that will forever change my life. I accept it, however, I walk with a healthy fear coupled with and emotional awareness this a spiritual awakening that unsettles and settles me simultaneously. Yet, the trepidations holds me tight and there is no one to talk to, and tell myself trust God. I know God is there but a human touch intervention is what I desire; i tell myself trust God. I keep playing over and over in my head- hands are extended but the person is not person. Thus, the physical manifestation was lost in parallel play. 
The parallel play is scary, but it is not for us to understand why, I should look for the lesson within the experience at each exchange and step; it is not an event but a journey. I know going through this will develop skills needed to help me see more expansively, and with forgiving heart lens; taking care of the little things, and the bigs will be much easier to undertake. Although, this is good, I too ask if this cup could be remove...but not my will, Thy will be done. Then I realized, He hands are on me and blessing, that favor comes with unmerited favor, grace.  For I realized, I am the instrument, vessel, tool like the object used but I cause the effect. I am directed, and I yield to the Author and finisher of my faith. As long as I do this all will be provided for me... I just have to trust and obey... I chosen, what about you.

Parallel Play

The other day I was speaking to a friend who has a toddler, and he started explaining child psychology, and this thing called parallel play. Parallel play is when you see two toddler playing side-by-side and it looks like they are playing together. But the children are not playing together, but alongside each other. Simply because they are in the same room, and playing iy looks like they are playing with each other. The children are playing, and maybe with toys, but upon closer observation you can tell they are not even communicating. When I heard this, I begin to think, this reminds me of the interactions among people. We all parallel play during most verbal exchanges. We are speaking but not necessary to each other, it is usually at each other. We are hyped on our point of view, perspective, etc, we fail to listen or understand what the other person is saying, or their needs. Yet, if anyone passes by it looks like two people are engaged in a dialogue, talking to each other. But this is thing, this behavior has shaped our lives and how we work with others. Thus, it is not surprising that we can not grow, or work collaboratively; we grew up and forgot. We forget that playing together means I do not get my way, I am not always right,and it is not about just me. During playing together, we seek what is best so all can play. This has an organic natural feel to it that is not achieved any other way. Surprisingly enough, we do this less and less. We engage in parallel, rather working together. No wants actually do the right thing, like love, save, not judge and condemn. If we stop the parallel play, we could have better place of worship, but also draw because the truth found and felt by those who are seeking. This is a seamless effort that is done because it is done through an unconscious competence; we know and are convince that it is automatic. Love, forgiveness, and faith direct our path, not fear, insecurities, or judgement.... John 3:16-17

Getting School

Phil. 4:13 'I can do all things through God who strengthens me.'
I can do, you can do, we can do all things through God. Thus, we all must do and engage in the experience if progression and growth is the desire. How we respond to the experience determines whether we got the lesson. This is a long one because something wonderful happened to me…smiling…

I went back to school. I have embarked on the next level of my journey in my faithwalk. This part will forever change my life, how I live, my interaction with others, expand my mentality, etc. I will be more conscious of what I put in to practice, what I speak, not that I will be perfect because for those who know me, will find this journey one quite interesting and I am far from perfection inspite of ego.…lol…For great is God’s mercy toward me, inspite of me and because He loves me. I felt it, once the experience settle in me what really this was about…sigh…and all I can say is there is not words, you just had to be there to see it. The illumination rain down in tears, the clarification rang through in my smile, the weight and gravity felt in the outstretch arms and head thrown back, humility shouted in the bent knees, the eyes closed as the silence brought a voice of loving kindness upon me, and I knew my surrendering was necessary…

Now let me go back to me going back to school. Well in this part of my faith walk journey there is this transition period where I am being prepared for what I am call to do. I came with trepidation, uneasiness, and not really wanting to do this. Wondering if this was the right person, should I be working with him, and if he even had time, ready to take this task own. So, I came in fully prepared to leave with the understanding this person is not the one for this task. To thank him for sure, for the time and effort but this is over; begin seeking elsewhere. Yes, I am crazy like that… Yet, I knew it was necessary because it was about me being open, vulnerable, not something I do very well. I like most people who in the helping, advising, professional guidance giving, informally and formally, we do not do this well. I had to trust the God who sent me, he was the one.

Letting others see into the vulnerability in us, and giving control to another is a necessity to ‘get it.’ See, we only have two experience as humans, where we really allow ourselves to be vulnerable and release control, (I believe)where go with the flow to get the most out of it…One is where there is a true sense of lost or hurt, and the second is when we participate in making the beast with two backs (Shakespearian term) of a personal nature (I hope this does not offend anyone but think about, you will see if you let go of your cultural constraints of sensibility, and yes, I went there, tactfully but fully there). Now the African-Americans culture might argue with me on this point because of the demonstrative actions, verbal and non-verbal, seen during in a church service. I am not move because this can be spontaneous but it is also habitual, what was taught as to how to express one self in church, and we control it, because even though we feel it, we do not do, always let go. Thus, for an actions to show true vulnerability and openness, it is not controlled, it comes, it occurs.…things that make you go..hmmmm… I had to explain this, now let me continue. We never really contemplate it being important or necessary to move forward in a positive progressive nature as part of growth. Because prejudices and knownness are challenged and expanded for the individual seeking to increase their horizon; there is not any other way. So I got schooled, literally, and the metaphorically; and I know my teacher enjoyed it…lol…. Let me explain. It wasn't just what was taught to me beyond verbal exchange, or form and function but the experience itself, and I was there to embrace, grasp the totality of the experience. I could only do so when I became humble, vulnerable, open, empty of expectations, and let go and let God; imagine that. You know, become an empty pitcher before a full fountain; I was there for the full experience, to sap everything out of it... This is no illusion or ‘game’ being put out to you, it substantive and weighty. However, this could not have happened without having trust and faith in my God will complete the work started in me. That He endowed the person I am been sent to with the skills to reach me, teach me, assist me as well as listen to me that hits it's the heart of the matter every time. My teacher did not make it easy for me, I have homework that is going to take me a minute..lol… When the teacher makes it easy it does not leave a lasting mark that lives, nor does it have a life past right now. It is not without emotional upheaval because you are open, vulnerable. Thus, emotions will come to the surface because you are going to an unused or untapped, uncharted waters; an emotional eruption is sure to come…think about it a minute. It is interesting tranquil beauty to see someone walking in their gift. They make it effortless, it is an unconscious competence (new phrase learned) that is seamless, and authenticity is evident because you realize the teacher, like the student wonders if s/he went too far, gave too much, or am I clear. See when we walk in our truth, we will fully see, what we do for others, God shall make happen for you…and you receive better, than what you gave….because an apt Teacher, who has an apt students eventually sees roles changing, and teaching is being done by the student in the unconscious competence that is seamless….lol

Now, you might be wondering what did you learn about God’s word, and I will tell you that this process is a test for what I am to put into practice, what I have been taught. And also, I wanted to share what is necessary to obtain growth in God because whether we pay attention to it or not. It all matters because whether we intend to or not, we are impacted by others, and we impact others with our words, our thoughts, our actions. What do I mean? Ever wonder why you missed something, and others got it? Ask yourself, were you surrendered to the moment, fully present and committed to the moment, or just there? Some say, it not my time? Well, timing has to do where you are? Are you open to it, or not? Were you there when you were supposed to be there, or was this happenstance, random.....You choose…

Proverbs 16:1,3,9 ‘Mortals make elaborate plans, but GOD has the last word…Put GOD in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place…We plan the way we want to live, but only GOD makes us able to live it.’

I hope all who reads this finds this more than mere self-indulgence but enlightenment!

What happens when...

What happens when…
What happens when you realize the disparity you desire to correct, change, you have help to create. Not only have you helped to create it, you are currently perpetuating it with intentionality through your decisionmaking and actions. You have been on automatic pilot, so you contributed to what has been taught and never questioned because it was part of your world. It has as been a part of your life; you just engaged as an active participant; it is as natural as breathing for you. It appears to be interwoven in all aspects of your life. See, it is the way you overlook the discrepancies, differences and challenges of those skin to you, kin to you, and/or friend to you. It is as much a part of your truth, your reality, your controlled culture group,and it is not a problem. This seamless existence does not push you to step outside your frame of reference to see, maybe something is not right. Until we are ready to submit that we too contribute to the disparity we wish to change, we will never find a solution that works for us. As with most things in life, it begins and ends with us, when it comes to change because unless we change the lens we look through, nothing will seems to change; even when it has. Although it is for us, it is not about us. See we all have a story to tell, and until we know it, accept our own truth as the reason we are, as we are, not to be used as an excuse but for clarification. We cannot understand why you and I stand, and do what we do.  

What happens when we release our hang ups, walk outside of our comfortable boundaries to see? We begin the first the steps to grow, improve, change. We find what we knew was only part of story, and the rest shall challenge as it realign all we know. But if we seek God, then the changes is difficult but the transition is easier and we will find helping hands, smiling faces, and appropriate advisement in on the journey.. We choose.... Matt. 20:14 - is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous? (NASB).