So, what are you going to do?

I am not sure what to write about today? So I am going to ramble about something that bugs me…I am wonder what do we do with the knowledge we have? The skill set we have acquired? The gifts we were given by God; you know your gifts and talents were meant to be shared, right… Are we willing to share with others? Do we take time out of our busy day to listen to someone else without trying to make them impress with us and our skills, rather seeking to be impressed with them? Are we so consumed with ‘making it big’, whatever that means to you, we fail to help others who are trying to make it too but have no guidance or direction? Do we rest on traditions, what we are use to, as a compass because it easy, and hope someone else does the work so you can go in? Do we think life will not catch up with us, and so our self-absorbed ways of dropping names, throwing in our degrees or expertise, and spitting out our titles or position? Can we not see no one cares about any of these things, unless it brings benefit and growth to them? What are we afraid of that we fail to share with others? Lift someone else up, not at the expense of self, but expansion of self. See lighting another candle with your light does not diminish you. It actually enhances you, and brings more light for all. Why do we wallow in our insecurities, fear, and aloofness pushing people away? Yet, we assume and proclaim we are helping but as soon as someone seeks you out for help assistance, or guidance we feign unavailability because it is not a convenient time for us. When is giving of ourselves ever convenient? Yet, we have the nerve to get upset when others do this to us? Let’s get real. Giving of self is never convenient, not always financially beneficial, or easy. However, we quickly share ourselves in ineffective endeavors which inflate our heads while diminishing our heart. We too quickly surround ourselves with others who feed our ego, but not challenge our intellect or put our integrity to the test. We shy away from, avoid with a vengeance, pretend integrity, and hide behind our intellect so that we do not have be honest with self and live our truth. Because the person who seek your knowledge, desires to learn from you, you forget to call, or reach out as you see their greatest before they do; you do not want anyone else to be greater than you. What if that is your lot to help the one to be the one, does that not make you great? When will we get it, the most precious thing we have in this life is ourselves and our time…John 3:17, yeah 17 not 16 states - For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him (NIV). Christ came to save the world and he did it through sacrifice of self and time in order to reach out to others. For He realized the reward of reaching out to those who sought him out, and those who needed him was necessary, although it was not always easy, convenient or followed the tradition of that day…So, when are we going to begin living, giving and being the example of Christianity we teach, preach, and sermonize about, or we just going to let the darkness swallow us whole slowly with delays because it is not easy for us…Psalm 103:17-18 - But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts (NIV)…So, what are you going to do…as for me, I am going to live, as hard as it is, as inconvenient as it will become, the precepts, how about you?...

God is neither Historical and Hysterical:

Well I pray this entry find you doing well. Today at church, the minister said something that kind of stuck with me, so I decided share. God is neither hysterical or historical; wow…Meaning He does not over react because of a short fuse or sensitivity base on someone actions or statements. Historical meaning he has a short memory, not a bad memory; he chooses to forget and not hold our iniquities and indiscretions against us; he is not like man. He simply choose to let things go; he has a heart of forgiveness…Now the questions we have to ask ourselves is – why are we so hysterical, dramatic, quick to go off in certain or all areas that strike us wrong, unnecessarily? Also, historical, what good does it do for us to rehash what has happened in the past to us or against us, when we fight or try to make a point? Then I recognized, we choose because of unresolved issues; lessons not learned; less than authentic lives, we live; and self imposed insecurity and fears. Why? We value the opinions of others, more than we value God infallible truths, we want to impress others with ‘me’ and forget we have a choice in who we believe or gravitate to; free will. See the old school yard chant of - it is not what you are call, but what you answer to; we choose or accept what is true. Yet, we cannot help ourselves. This result from us denying our weaknesses, and putting them in a dark, dank, hidden places with shameful label. Thus, we have triggers, so when someone get close to it with words, action, or touch it, unbeknownst to the person, we react. All because we forgot, we are told by our savior in our weakness, he is strong. This is only difficult because we deny the truth of who are…hmmmm

Therefore, it is easier to be hysterical to redirect and create confusion by being hysterical andhistorical; God is not the author of confusion, Satan is. Now, we can identify why the madness ensues and strife, division develops because the our focus is askewed…While we go historical because we do not comprehend, truly, God takes all things ( good/bad, depressing/exciting, and abundance/lack times to teach, reach, bless, draw,) to equip us. He cannot do so because we focus on the wrong thing, self. God never focus on self, it is always our good. Yet, we focus on man, and the popular opinion polls we hear. See both Hysterical and Historical are both self-destructive mind-set fertilizing the breeding grounds for malice. So ask yourself, why do I go historical and get hysterical? Think about it, it does not improve anything, only make all things worse. ..Prov. 4:24-26 Don't let your mouth speak dishonestly, and don't let your lips talk deviously. Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established. Don't turn to the right or to the left; keep your feet away from evil. (HCSB)..Think about it Hysterical or historical neither of them serves a purpose BUT GOD saves!

Forgiveness and trust

I came across this book, as I search for books to assigned to my student for an educational development emphasis- Island of Saints: A Story of the One Principle That Frees the Human Spirit by Andy Andrews. Although this book, like most book can and will not appeal to all, it has a wonder message about forgiveness. See, to live a life of anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness is to live a life which is weak, powerless, and poor. This is not a cliché or rhetorical, it is really true. When we cannot forgive, it infects us with a madness that worms its way slowly, intently, and all consuming manner into all aspects of our life. It stays with and accompanies us on every encounter masked in another face but it is really deep-seated unforgiveness within that has taken up residence and forgotten about by owner of the house, our soul. We continue to misunderstand how poignant, bitter, and nasty it is. It takes resident with the other deep dark unflattering secrets had because we are true with ourself…The forgiveness housed in our soul changes us on the inside, and manifest itself on the outside. We carry this monkey on our back and utilize it as a weapon, tool of choice used to justify our own unrival heavy emotions giving guidance to our every thought, actions, and decision made. Does it stop you from being successful, accomplished, marrying, parenting, achieving, etc? The answer is no, but it limits you, it pushes people away and/or keeps them at a distance? Forgiveness allows you to be more patience, and not have a mindset part paranoid and part fear fueled. It is because we fail to understand this simple truth about forgiveness. It frees you but forgiveness does not mean you automatically trust again. Trust has to be built up over times once it is destroy or tainted, and forgiveness allows it to come to pass. Forgiveness opens, expands the horizon to encompass faith, not fear.



When it comes to forgiveness, we act as if God wants us to subject ourselves to be hurt over and over again; not true. He does desire us to love, forgive, and have faith without reservation that He knows what is best for us. Remember what happened to Adam and Eve when they ate fruit, they were forgiven, but HE put them out of the garden because he could not trust them anymore because of their behavior; they had consequences and love. Did God stop loving, providing for them, helping them, blessing them, you get the picture, and the answer is no. He did not stop anything. Were there consequences for the violation of trust, yes, and it was done in a loving and redeeming manner. Only time heals, and only God can restore, absence of God loving way, we are lost in abyss floundering and haphazardly finding our way. Problem with this is we are cannot produce or find it again because the first time was an accident…WOW! What a revelation there…See we got the forgive but do not forget from the not trusting, but we once again got it wrong we are malicious and negative with our intent, not loving; we do not get it…But understand something, individuals walking around with hurt, unforgiveness in their heart, will hurt you, and unless you are directed by God to deal with them, don’t draw them near love them from afar.. And if directed by God to draw them near, then you must be ready to obey his every instruction when it comes to them. Otherwise, it will be a disaster because they are self-destructive and will bring this destructive focus to those around them…Decide to forgive and understand what it means to trust…Lam 3:40 – 42 - ‘Let's take a good look at the way we're living and reorder our lives under God. Let's lift our hearts and hands at one and the same time, praying to God in heaven "We've been contrary and willful, and you haven't forgiven. (MSG)’

Who is there when you blow up?

Well today as I contemplate this scary walk of faith before me, I decided to stand naked and needy before the Father and say ‘Here I am’. Understanding this, my journey, no matter how crazy it seems to me, the process is preparation for my future role. So, I have come to some conclusions as I begin to be comfortable in my own skin and sensibilities. I began thinking, let me be honest, began having trepidation about it. Why? Well, ironically it was not money, it was about who would be there for me. Who would be real with me? Who do I confide in so that I can be feed? Who is not intimidated by who I am and what I do? Yes, people tell you, they will be your accountability partner, life coach really, but when things begin to grow, and you grow, people forget this. See it is very hard to be the ‘get real’ conscience for anyone with certain gifts, status or wealth. No one wants to tell them you bleed just like me, you can be wrong, and you do not get everything you want, your way. To have someone who is not impress with you, and keeps you grounded…this might sound crazy for some people but think about it, or ask any celebrity. Finding a celebrity will be hard for most of us, so I suggest asking your pastor or minister. It becomes quite difficult for them. To find someone who is there for them without malicious intent but allowing heart. See, a few things must happen - 1) The willingness to be open to the person without fear, 2) the person understanding being this person is enduring and hearing information not always pleasant or puts him/her in the not so positive light, and 3) there has to be immutable or incorruptible trust. Believe me there is going to be some heavy lifting on this person part. I know, I have done this and some days I am so overwhelmed I think, I am in a state of depression; and it is not about me…WTH! Is that about?...lol…Think about it, when people are coming to you all the time to get advice, divulge their ugliness, needing to be consoled, wanting to be in your presence because who you are, seeking guidance, etc; draining you. Yeah, you need someone to talk to. But who do you talk to? Your partner gets tired of hearing you, and they should not be the person, you almost need a sponsor like recovering addict has in AA. Because some days, it is just that serious of issue for you, and the person you love cannot bear all that madness; believe me. So, who do you talk to? See, everyone wants the success, the money, fame, status, but no one count the cost of it and what the trade out is…I am scared, and it is not even funny anymore because denying my gifts is not an options for me. So, I am taking toddler steps until I find my balance but hell I am walking in my destiny…Maybe I am the only one with this type of crazy thoughts, or the only one willing to be naked and needy before God and man so that I can move forward…

Then I ran across these verses Isa. 30:20-21 - Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher. Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left. (NASB)…then warm tears from my heart rolled down my cheeks, and I realize my Father would provide for me, if I am open to him and His way..This is not easy, but it is the blessed way…You just have to believe without reservation, and trust the truth you speak into others lives..So, ask yourself were you born for such a time as this to be honest and willing spirit for God…

You matter and make a difference

Whether you agreed, liked or thought he was right MLK did something that changed this great country; we call America. All because he was willing to do the hard thing - followed the called upon his life. His resiliency to share love and non-violence so the wall of fear, oppression, and hate could fall, but all benefit. The self-will and control to not respond with the same contempt he was addressed with, rather he response was grace laced humility dialogue that rival and required everyone to take notice. See his life culminated both legacy and longevity,  he challenged all to make room for others unlike ourselves,  and to entertain dialogue with mutual respect. Not an advocate for the continuous generational curse that settles for contention and strife as it companion. Instead with the sacrifice of humanity's blood, his spirit too, after his expiration, rings forth with a truth that cannot be denied or ignored and rises like the phoenix bird out of the ashes; he opted to be civil in an uncivil and fixed fight. The blood soaked grounds where white blood of varioius ethnic backgrounds and black blood of african descendents comingled for one purpose -all would have the right to live their destiny in the light. For we are not an island in and of ourselves but our success intertwined with someone else's destiny. If you do not think so, let me take you down a walk and remember black altered the country as we know - Michael Jackson (the gift that keeps on giving), Oprah, Lil'Wayne, Johnsons, Michael Jordan,etc. I think we see how color should not matter when the goal is progression, desire is peace, and love grants forgiveness....Yet, we cannot speak of MLK without speaking of JC- Jesus Christ. Jesus, is, was, and always for Christian, the example, the model we should pattern our lives after. Color did not play a role in His loving mankind nor the madness we allow to separate us today.. He loves the person; self-sacrifice for the person, and put the needs of others first before comfort and ease; He sought the heart. He was not condemning but sought to save and only really gotten angry twice that is in the bible - once at the temple and the other at the cross (go search you will find it); both times was over our self-destructive behavior we had embrace over godiliness. Jesus showed us one person following after God's call upon their life can change the world, and they will leave both legacy and longevity for future generations. See both JC and MLK were born to die, the difference was JC knew how, and why, MLK didn't. MLK walked beyond his fear and debilitating mental illness, and gave rise to a new hope, life altering spirit,and immutable example of obedience...For MLK knew and trust what Jesus taught -Matthew 16:24-26-Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." (NASB) and Luke 16:13 - No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." (NIV)...So, remember you matter and make a difference....

It is about love

Everything is about love or it comes back to love. It is not about an accident but divine design. The connection and the desired to be important to someone enough that you are put first. See, when we are loved like this, and we are taught in words and deeds. It is easier to return love when you are given it, then we give love that is not swayed by circumstance or situation. We are able to love one another, no matter what. It changes you for the good, and excess baggage is not accumulated but let go because the heart is able to release and breathe. The human touch becomes more intimate; chaotic times become less unbearable; sad times we are able to see in a different way. As you realize the resounding logic of 'all things work out for our good' with new meaning; somehow, some way. Romans 8:28-30-We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. For those He foreknew. He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; and those He called, He also justified; and those He justified, He also glorified.(HCSB) tells us this. But unless we understand love that God seeks to teach us, these verses roll off our back, like water on a duck's back. It doesn't quite touch us although it reaches us; it surface fleeting emotions feeling touch. We are unmoved and unheeding as it has a devastating to soul growth to our Christian walk.

You see, when we get it, the real meaning of what love means, then life changes. See God heals because of love...God provides because of love...God grants grace and mercy because of love...God sacrificed because of His for us...Nothing is ever made lasting and sustainable changes for improvement for the better without the true comprehension of the unconditional love we saw on the cross...See love wills and allows. The question we all must ask ourselves is - am i really ready to begin the process to live according to God's modeled love? It matters and so does you...It is about love...Read Romans 8: Inseperable by Bill Hybels

You just don't wanna know

I have included in my blog today the song by Marvin Winans. He wrote this song as a result of a friend who told him, he would be there if he ever needed him, but wasn’t. Gave excuses why he couldn’t. It gave me a start because I think of those who told me they would be there for me but wasn’t, as well as those I told, I would be there for them, but wasn’t. It hurt; I am not going to lie. Realizing how my selfishness has caused me not to be used in the will of God because I did not feel like it. Take me back a bit, and I can't say anything. I was afraid my truth was something they could not handle, or I did not want to know their truth because it would make me face something in me. We all have done this. The question is why do we do this? To make ourselves feel good, look good to the other person, or think ‘we have to’ because our position or status. Well the thing is, no one wants to be given empty promises, and we should not hand them out to make ourselves feel good or look good. Why? Because you know, one day the person will call you on this promise. If it is just fluff, then you have just hurt someone unnecessarily without cause. That does not feel good does it? So the next time you tell someone you will be there, be there....otherwise they will conclude - You just don't wanna know’ ...We all want others to be there for us, to help us in those crazy times in life, and it does matter having that human touch. Being the angel, God used to get the message across; now isn’t that a wonderful feeling which reaches the core....think about it for minute...We all want others to be honest, genuine, and truthful to us, but it is hard to get what we do not give. Lets us establish a new order with this new decade, and not only ask for others to be honest, genuine, and truthful to us, but we also do the same...Let us stop focusing on the negative, selfish, ‘me’ and actually listening to those people who gave us criticism, critique, review of us, so we can be the best person we can. This does not come easy, but the alternative is really not good either...think about, and read the words to this song by Marvin Winans....I did, and it is a powerful message... try it...

Marvin Winans song ‘You just don't wanna know’ (I might not get all the words just right, but you get the gist)

I hurt so many nights. Cried so many hours. Trying to make it right. Just didn't have the power. You ignored all of my tears. In hopes they’d disappear. I tried to let it show.

But I guess... you just don't wanna know

I came to you in love. I came to you in earnest. Could you possibly explain? Why the flames, why the furnace? Just needing to get it clear. I was hoping you would hear. I tried to let it go.

But I guess... you just don't wanna know.

Now it is true that God is always there…He said, He will never leave us…but at time a human touch is what I need…and if I had a dime for every time I tried to call your name, something tells me I would be wealthy

I learned I could cope…Yes I did…I discovered I could make it…in nights so long and cold…so cold...you do not know how cold…I could take it…but I wouldn’t change a thing, not for the knowledge I have gained…I learned that I could grow…I really did tried to let it show…I did tried to let it go

But I guess... you just don't wanna know

I hurt so many nights...I tried to let it show.

But I guess... you just don't wanna know

I learned I could grow…I tried to let it show… But I guess... you just don't wanna know

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."  Joseph Campbell, Author