What I know for sure

What I know for sure is we do not want to know. I have learned and experienced in my lifetime, we just do not want to know. We say, we desire to get it but we do not. I had to take a long look, and spatter some tears in the process before I realize. Not only can we not change others, we cannot impart a truth that requires self-introspection because fear and hurt. We know there is not gain without pain but when it comes to mental, emotional, and psychological pain, we take a pass. Not realizing we are taking a pass that will create a mountain in time that is seen in a myriad ways from fear, doubt, insecurities, depression, addiction, selfishness, to overachiever, conceit, and domineering.
The truth is hurtful and sends us into a tizzy. It occurs because when have done our best and what we knew to do. We will not allow, we assume is an indictment or reflection of our inadequacy to be spotlighted. Hence, we deny and ignore, and it does not matter how people come to us; in earnest, loving and/or contrive heart, we do not budge. Even though, we have asked others to ‘show me’, ‘tell me’, or ‘I need this’, when the rubber hits the road, we put up defenses and desire the presses to stop. We do not realize it is not a personal attack but helping hand. We no longer desire the help because it brings us face to face with truths we already knew, but it was easier to not deal with them. I can say for myself because I have most definitely been on both sides in my life it has tore at my heart, my mind, and colored the way I live, love, and interacted with others. It was all in fear and a façade; I had to fight for peace and faith, daily. Then I realize, the stress of it all was self-destructive. I had to understand it was not an indictment on my person, character but challenges to create a better me. Every time I denied the truth presented before me, I shirked because it hurt, it pushed me in a place I was not comfortable, and I constantly had to explain. I was questioned – is anything wrong. I wanted to scream – yes, and you know it but you deny it. An epiphany hit, ‘don’t wanna know’ syndrome was in full effect as it colored, shaped, and became the place where love sprung out of. I stopped and took faith over fear, and sought deliverance rather than denial, indwelling of God rather than ignoring, and reflective mirror rather than madness ignited. The escape techniques and denials of our childhood became my madness of adulthood.
What do I mean? When we remove the stinger, the thing, whatever it is – object of our problem. We have not finished, now we must deal with the learned behavior that has been passed down, the communication style, and the coping mechanism to survive. See, we believe, we learn, what we are taught. True as it is, we do not realize what we teaching with our words, but more importantly with our deeds, actions, and behavior. These things become who we are and passed on to others; it is not genetic but just as real. Do not believe me? How many look up and realize I act just like my parents (whether they are both in the home or not), or the person we never wanted to be like both unknowingly and knowingly. Consequently our coping mechanism, which helped get us through, becomes us. We do not do the things he/she did, we have the tendencies he/she had, and we never address the whole problem….After a while, we don’t wanna know. It is easier to just let it go, and we begin a new unproductive coping mechanism to pass on to others in our life….I stopped worrying, and gave it to God. I let go, let God, and he worked me. Tears flowed, anger release, pain subsided, and love sprung with a renew sense of redemptive grace and faith built on nothing less than God faithfulness…see sometime we just do not want to know because it hurts too much. The same reason addicts have difficulty staying somber, is the same reason many of us do not change…it hurts to much to see…we don’t wanna know…this is what I know for sure ….Titus 4:8-9This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men. But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. (NASB)