Expectations

It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. Proverbs 19:2

My two cent. - As we approach the Christmas activities, beyond the gift buying and the present exchange  but the engaging in communications and hosting of family. I thought, I should speak about our expectations of one another. Expectations are not the devil, the evil one, or some mischievous sprite in our life. The issue is our motives, intentions, objectives, or reason for the expectations; we impose on one another because of selfishness. If most of us were honest with our self, many of our expectations for others are based on our desires, wishes, emotions; our would have should have dreams; societal norms; traditions, and yes, fears. These all serve to keep us at odds, fighting, not talking to one another, and keeping secrets. Keeping us tensed, estranged, separate; from many who we say we love, and wish the best for in life. Love draws, and wishing the best inspires us. Too many times, what we are doing with our expectations create the great divide.  We say, we do it for their own good; but it’s really us not wanting to deal with what accompanies the exchange. Yet, we know avoidance and ignoring does not help anything, it only makes it more difficult to communicate, and sometimes unnecessarily so; but  we do it anyway….Revealing is healing… For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge -Romans 10:2…Let us do, hold expectations based on the knowledge of God’s truth, not man contrive truth, on what is integrible, not my idea.

Expectations are great as long as they are not use to create madness, unnecessary conflict, or to make others feel they have to hide their truth because of condemnation. No one likes those types of expectations because they create an atmosphere of a disruptive nature, not one of loved. See pressuring someone to do or act according to the book of right written, edited, and published by some invisible ‘right thing to do group’, does not make it right, or correct but it does segregate us. Eric Hoffer had it right when he stated - Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind…We cannot control others but we can choose to not be negative or remind in a negative place.

I don’t think, I have it all right but I have lived long enough to know as we prepare for the family gatherings - some by blood, marriage, or love - we need to be free and forgiven to really embrace the reason for the season. We spend our money of the Ma’dear movies, spend our time watching TBN, Dr. Phil and Oprah shows and learn all these great things. My question - When are we going incorporate them into our lives? I believe we would do well to step back before the liquor is flowing, the words are exchanged, and we talk ourselves into turmoil of madness. Because nothing hidden can be helped, nothing kept in secret can be changed or accepted; nothing assumed can be clarified unless asked about, and nothing sought after or infused with hurt will create love, only more hurt…Our choice…choose well it is important.  

Hazing

This is my soapbox today, and some will get very upset with me but this is my conviction. After hearing and seeing Anderson Cooper 360 report, and learning of another death and beating. I work in institution of higher learning and hazing at all levels is alive and well. I have to agree with journalist Roland Martin, hazing is about culture, and it is not a black thing. It is a cultural thing for all of Americans. We all have a proclivity, penchant, inclination, affinity to hazing; yet we declassify it as hazing because it did ‘hurt’ anyone. People please, we need to think we went from teasing to bullying, from a school yard fight to beat downs at school. Do not see the natural progressive of depravity we have create with our silence, and you are worst than mind argument; it is all wrong. Let us start there, and work our way from this place.  

We believe, it is ingrained in our psyche, you must endure something to get anything, true but intentional intimidation, brutality and shame; Really?! I went through to get to, then you must do as well. The irony is this, those who went through it, the hazing whether it was subtle, harassment, or violent, did not like going through it. Yet, we are willing to put others through it because we seem to think it is what makes him or her a ‘real’ member, or you have to pay your dues and that is part of it. I get the, you have work yourself up because of the necessity of understanding, but what I don’t get and will never get is this. This psychological bent where a group must embarrass, intimidate, or hit someone who is seeking to become a part of an organization. Citing or stating it is an activity(s) which make those who seeking to become a member closer because it is a bonding experience, or lets you know how bad you want it, or you understand the importance of what it takes to really be a member of our elite group. But forgive me, if I am confused because I thought the goal is to do better in our efforts, to make it better those coming behind us, and looking toward us for guidance. I am in the minority here, I see.

We berate, question, become anger, if someone misses a step, I had to go through; question -how many of us would really like to endure some of the things our forefather and mothers, of all races and persuasion, went through to ensure we have a leg up, easier transition, less struggle, etc? Isn’t this the reason for us to improve things for self, but also for others to enjoy…how would you like to go back to no cell phones, ipads, computer, planes, trains, interracial marriages, female minister, being put in jail because of your sexual orientation, I could go on but I think we all get the picture… Yet we create a society that endorses, encourages it, and then stands back going tsk-tsk these kids today. WTF!!?? We wrote the book, hand it off to the next generation, and told them to add their chapter. So, with a word of don’t and laws of shouldn’t, we also include a wink and a smile giving the green light to continue with business as usual. However, we never begrudge or belabor the point of clarity or point of order if we are given an opportunity to move beyond the requirements, and we bask in the awareness, Look at my good fortune! What a lucky break! God is good! What a blessing!, then we turn around endorse for others go through the path you didn’t. God forbid.

At some point we must be the change we wish to see, because laws and policies governed but they do not control, without the people endorsement and following them, they have no value. We give the laws and policies power to control, not vice-versa. Any questions, look in the history books of our country, or the bible, it is all in there. Hazing is a cultural issue we all must all own, all work to change, and

I will close with this, all who say we are Christians, we should know this better than anyone. Jesus came so that we can have life more abundantly, and endured our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities. How long will we know right, understand right, but fail to do right because we fail to really grasped the end product, the influence and the impact of our behavior of those coming after us, those looking to us for guidance, or those who are contemporary for us…just because you were not in the car wreck with a sever leg, it does not mean it does impact you? It is your choice, change starts with each us… Zec. 4:10 -Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the LORD that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel?” (NIV).

Double-mindedness

James 1:5-8 -If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
We don’t do not because we don t want to hurt, we don’t want to deal with the emotion, the drama, the baggage that comes with it. But it is really because it protects us from the madness and dealing with our own emotions, we don’t want to address. Yet, we wonder why am I still anger, fearful, hurt, or frustrated. We get life mixed up, thus we are double-minded, unsteady in our doing, and are carried away by the new trend or popular group. What is the formula? In Jay McGraw’s book for teens puts its well - BE-DO-HAVE - done, and done. This is stems from the fact, we have let our growth - educationally, intellectually, spiritually or economically  - create in us this mindset, an old adage from my childhood - we are so heavenly bound, we are no earthly good. Mark Twain puts it this way - I never let my schooling getting the way of my education. See there are teachers, lessons, and change agent information surrounding us. However, we shall not see it, or are able to grasp it because we are double-minded. We are unwilling to do the work that helps us to be, we are afraid to do what is needed, and we end up not having what we say, we seek. See the only constant in life, truly and without a doubt, is change.
Double-mindedness results because we are restricted by our limits and construct set by self and society; not of God but of man. Who are we serving; it is becoming clear why we are so full with doubts. I do believe; we can’t serve two masters. See God loves us enough to give us freewill, without ‘told you so’ haunting us; man, not so much…. We do the work of God, yes, but is it the will of God for us to do. Should we really be doing a different work, but we chose this work because it is a part of His will, but it is not the work He has assigned to our hands. How many times have you, me, or us as Christians done this very thing and then, wonder why do I walk away empty, lost, confused, still upset but do not stop going on this path because it is in the work of God, but it is not His will for us to do that work.  It is not the landscape that must change for us, it is us, so we can ‘see’. Otherwise, when we move to different a landscape, how we  see things will be the same no matter where we are, or situation we find ourself in; it is out of kilter for us because our mind is.
Double-mindedness is not an accident for us, it a choice; it always comes back to choices.  If we desire different results, we must take different actions. We can only take different actions when we truly have this infused in our souls, heart, and mind - all things work together for the good, even when we do not see it, understand, or feel it. God is working it out for our good; the good, the bad, the difficult, the easy, the embarrassment, just stand and be blessed by the one who never throws you away. Who loves you enough to let you have freewill to express yourself, and reconciles you to him with Love unconditional. It is incredibly difficult to do with a double-mind. Double-mindedness is the result of fear which was never supposed to stop us, only a way of telling us, we are going into the unknown, and faith and prayer are required for the trip for guidance.
Please don’t get it twisted, I do not have it all figured out but I am getting it right; one step at a time. So, can you. Its important, its wise, and its blesses…know the right thing to do, and doing it is difficult; but so was walking on the water but Peter did it because he didn’t walk alone….wink

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

As we approached this holiday season where everyone is feeling love, and giving freely as their wallet will allow, their groceries will stretch, and the heart will extend. It is all because of love, beginning around Thanksgiving and concludes right after the New Year. Yet the other 330 days, give or take, we are not so much with the love thing. We give during this time, a love unfettered by expectations, color, race, sexual orientation, or ability; we just give and do so without the guile belaboring us during the other days of the year. During this time love is displayed unconditional, raw and real, it melts our hearts, beckoning tears to form in our eyes, and inclines our arms to outstretch to those we would, otherwise be invisible or we give an aristocratic snub.  

We celebrate the birth, with a holiday, but shout, praise, lift our hands, and falling out at resurrection. The irony is this, when Christ chose to slip out of his celestial robe of time without end, and into limited space and time. When he offered up himself to live outside of the holy realm of perfection incarnate, and live imperfection personified. When he released himself from the majestic form of I AM Trinity to be the baby delivered in stable, and laid in a manger so that He could know us in our infirmities and blotted present, so He could deliver us. It was done! For what we see as linear time, God sees in entirety. Jesus knew he came to endure the madness, beating, and death, we didn’t. However, it was realized we needed to see how much we were loved. We need to see, feel, and hear, we are loved no matter what we are, what state or condition we are in, despite of the societal dictates limiting you, and ostracizing of mankind says. God wanted us to know, we can come as we are, and the Savior will reconcile each of us, unto Himself. He never asked us any of us to take on the position of prophet, priest or king for anyone else dictating to what was, or is right. He was serious when He told Peter in john 21:20-22 - Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” For John 3:16-17- For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Is for all, the good, the bad, the whatever because he will reconcile us until himself.

See that happened not at the cross but at the conception of Jesus, not just at the death but at birth. For Jesus was borne to die, so Christ could be seen, known, and accepted by all who will come. Merry Christmas, it is done, you are love…

Thanksgiving

A thanksgiving prayer

On this day we remember the gift of giving thanks,

On this day we remember a day when differences do not matter, when the eyes of the heart are used,

On this day we remember, we are all connected, we all have importance, and it is real,

On this day we remember and are humble by the vastness of what it represents

God’s grace toward us, and we have a 'holy moment’ as we say thank you! Amen

So, as each of you eat your turkey, varied dressings, green bean casserole, candied yams, rolls, mashed potatoes, carrots, and libation or tea, or whatever your meal consist of for the day, remember the spirit that surround this day is one we choose to have for today. The holiday mindset we personify during this time of year, to help, to give, to show kindness, to put aside differences, etc is a choice, we choose to have. A choice we can make each day, as we choose to forgive more, to live more honestly, and to not let man’s perceptions of God loves, mercy, grace, and forgiveness inhibit us. To let the our understanding of His unconditional love envelopes us, become an indwelling in us, and our constant companion with us. So, that the ignorant words of man does not stop us from answering God with our truth, with hearts, and with our spirits. Then we shall see, and breathe these verse with a newness and exuberance  - Psalm 100:4-5  Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise Give thanks to Him and praise His name For the LORD is good, and His love is eternal; His faithfulness endures through all generations. (HCSB).  B

The Brokenness in the Church

It is nothing wrong with the brokenness being in the church. Because the scriptures states while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. So, the issue is not us being broken in the church; it is a given. The problems is we refuse to acknowledge the truth about ourselves, move out of our comfort our confront zone, even if it is a place of negativity that has insinuated itself in our lives so that we can move beyond the brokenness. We want to stay in it, either in whole or in part because it is the familiar we ‘know’. We bring it to the committees, on the boards, in the pulpit, where were serve. Therefore, we have all this brokenness at the table, and it is no wonder we struggle.  We know the truth, but we are afraid to own it, so instead it owns us, controls us. All because we are not convinced of this truth in the bible, we repeat more often than I count, or like to hear because it seem rhetorical rather revelational and relevant for us.- John 8:32 -Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (NIV)…and let fear reside within us. We do not believe the holy scripts when it states in 2 Tim 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (21^stNKJV). But for some reason, we live fearful which manifests itself in myriad ways in our personal lives, professional lives, and in our interpersonal communication.

The brokenness in church, we deny, is dictating controlling more than God. Who we like to say is in control. You might ask, where is it seen specifically, I need concrete examples, not some abstract about it is everywhere.  Well in is seen in how we allow ourselves to be guided by God, or obey God. When we are provided directions by God, we act as our children do when they are told to do something. Which means we do in the following ways- we follow exactly, we do it according to our way, or we do partially thinking ‘at least I tried’.  When we let someone else, tell us God told me you should do this, or that; others only affirm, confirm or make plain what you already knew and/or  ignored. When we are more love with the rituals, traditions, and our religious protocol over…Commercial Break - now do not get me wrong, things should be done decently and in order, but we were never to become the Pharissees and the Sadduccees of our day… God never tells anyone about you without, you knowing first people.  For God does not ask us to follow Him without providing, or equipping  us with what we need. Our brokenness stops us from this - Phil. 1:6 - being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (NIV).  It is our freewill, our choice, and it is important how we choose.  God forbid the people of God continue to allow the brokenness to reign in the church…

The trust fall

The trust fall we are most familiar with; we either played it as a child, participated in at a summer camp, or team-building exercise. The trust fall is in which a person deliberately allows themselves to fall, relying on the other members of the group to catch them.^. Some time you are standing on something with your arms folded on your chest and truly fall back, or you just lean back while you are standing. The truth is this a ‘trust fall’ happen any time we decides to put trust in another, and we really do not have reason do so, except for faith. For instance, Paul had a trust fall with Philemon not knowing he would abide in his plea or petition on behalf of Onesimus. Who, Philemon, did not have to give grace and mercy but his just due for any other runaway slave. See trust fall, is more than just believing in someone, it is trust in what you have no evidence to prove it will happen. You just do and let go. You put out with your heart…with faith. 

Anyone who leading a group has a built in, symbolic ‘trust fall’ for them because people only follow who they trust. This is the reason it is difficult to lead because where no trust exist, there is no true followers; Christ set the example. Anyone who says they are Christians, must submit to the trust fall with the Father nothing is earned, we cannot work to show ourselves worthy, or become obedient enough to get into heaven to sit a the feet of the Almighty. We must trust in the Father words with our heart knowing whatever happens, I am going to be alright; I will be caught, and all will work out. It is your choice, choose well,  and fall into the arms of the Father knowing He will catch you.