Expectations

It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. Proverbs 19:2

My two cent. - As we approach the Christmas activities, beyond the gift buying and the present exchange  but the engaging in communications and hosting of family. I thought, I should speak about our expectations of one another. Expectations are not the devil, the evil one, or some mischievous sprite in our life. The issue is our motives, intentions, objectives, or reason for the expectations; we impose on one another because of selfishness. If most of us were honest with our self, many of our expectations for others are based on our desires, wishes, emotions; our would have should have dreams; societal norms; traditions, and yes, fears. These all serve to keep us at odds, fighting, not talking to one another, and keeping secrets. Keeping us tensed, estranged, separate; from many who we say we love, and wish the best for in life. Love draws, and wishing the best inspires us. Too many times, what we are doing with our expectations create the great divide.  We say, we do it for their own good; but it’s really us not wanting to deal with what accompanies the exchange. Yet, we know avoidance and ignoring does not help anything, it only makes it more difficult to communicate, and sometimes unnecessarily so; but  we do it anyway….Revealing is healing… For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge -Romans 10:2…Let us do, hold expectations based on the knowledge of God’s truth, not man contrive truth, on what is integrible, not my idea.

Expectations are great as long as they are not use to create madness, unnecessary conflict, or to make others feel they have to hide their truth because of condemnation. No one likes those types of expectations because they create an atmosphere of a disruptive nature, not one of loved. See pressuring someone to do or act according to the book of right written, edited, and published by some invisible ‘right thing to do group’, does not make it right, or correct but it does segregate us. Eric Hoffer had it right when he stated - Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind…We cannot control others but we can choose to not be negative or remind in a negative place.

I don’t think, I have it all right but I have lived long enough to know as we prepare for the family gatherings - some by blood, marriage, or love - we need to be free and forgiven to really embrace the reason for the season. We spend our money of the Ma’dear movies, spend our time watching TBN, Dr. Phil and Oprah shows and learn all these great things. My question - When are we going incorporate them into our lives? I believe we would do well to step back before the liquor is flowing, the words are exchanged, and we talk ourselves into turmoil of madness. Because nothing hidden can be helped, nothing kept in secret can be changed or accepted; nothing assumed can be clarified unless asked about, and nothing sought after or infused with hurt will create love, only more hurt…Our choice…choose well it is important.