Sunday, August 8, 2010

Dear Convince a note to myself;

I am not sure what to think right now. I made a choice that will forever change my life. I accept it, however, I walk with a healthy fear coupled with and emotional awareness this a spiritual awakening that unsettles and settles me simultaneously. Yet, the trepidations holds me tight and there is no one to talk to, and tell myself trust God. I know God is there but a human touch intervention is what I desire; i tell myself trust God. I keep playing over and over in my head- hands are extended but the person is not person. Thus, the physical manifestation was lost in parallel play. 
The parallel play is scary, but it is not for us to understand why, I should look for the lesson within the experience at each exchange and step; it is not an event but a journey. I know going through this will develop skills needed to help me see more expansively, and with forgiving heart lens; taking care of the little things, and the bigs will be much easier to undertake. Although, this is good, I too ask if this cup could be remove...but not my will, Thy will be done. Then I realized, He hands are on me and blessing, that favor comes with unmerited favor, grace.  For I realized, I am the instrument, vessel, tool like the object used but I cause the effect. I am directed, and I yield to the Author and finisher of my faith. As long as I do this all will be provided for me... I just have to trust and obey... I chosen, what about you.

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