I heard something today that set me free. I have come to believe this – when people show you who they are, believe them. However, what I heard today is this – stop trying to fix or make people be what they are not. I was like wow! How much time, words, energy, and even money do we spend on trying to make someone into what we think, or what they say want? Yet, everything they do is in direct opposition to what is being spoken. They may say the right words, know all the answers but nothing has click in them to work for it. So, what do we do, we keep at them trying to get them to move on what it either because they asked, or we think this is the best for them. WE have missed the most important part of this, the individual(s) being an active participant engaging in their own transformation. We cannot want the change more than the person who is changing desires it. It only makes both individuals frustrated and miserable. It becomes a slow erosion of a light all because we do not let go, and let God, or let the person be. We were never meant to change anyone so that he or she reaches their potential or obtain growth. What we are called to be is the change we wish see, model the behavior and the character, we teach, but once again folks it is the person. They choose whether it is important to them or not to do, if it is not important to them to change, then we have no right to force, to badger, to push them. They must always be active participants in their own transformation. We can help them, but we cannot make them be this thing, we think they should, or what they say they want, if the person is not putting in the work. Is it painful to see a loved one, or a person with great potential fail; yes! But you are not God. You are not the Master-craftsman who fashion each of us with exact precision of a steady love to create the unabashed beauty that is to be forged by life fires and groom by the Prince of Peace loving redemptive grace as we reassured through the Holy Spirit presence. WE cannot do an extreme makeover on people like we do on things, because you need their consent and willingness to make it happen. Telling others what not wear with our words and not with our actions does not to inspire others to engage in change. We cannot make people change, but we can give them an example to follow, and behold through our living, our actions, our words, our giving.
At some point we must let go, we must release ourselves and the other person to choose, for them. We are to shake the dust off our feet, and move on to place you can help. However, we need to remember, we will never get what we do not give; so check yourself first because you cannot expect to convince someone you seek their best in a public forum, or in front others. When you personally harbor their worst, or do not think the individual will ever make it; they respond to your truth. Letting go, forgiving others, makes this process easier to do, but the process to get here is difficult at best because it is in our nature as men and women to fix, make better, to mold, to whittle, to figure out, or to sculpt. Yes, things we can shape, configure, but people must desire it. If you ever get lost on this point, remember this – you do not like people trying to make you change or fix you. …Matthew 10:14 – ‘If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. (NIV)’ …WE were never meant to force anything onto person, only to provide the words and mold it to encourage…. “
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